From Alice

8 months, I'm actually very tired.. at times i really think and want to go with the flow, it's so so so so much easier to go with the flow... y go against it? with all the pillars and encouragements and perks abandoning me one by one in the process, feels uber alone, lost and cold, even the strongest willpower and spirits got deflated. Wounded. just not too dead, yet. I insist.

luckily at that very rock bottom, i got reminded of the bottle of positivity pills I've always kept with me...bit by bit, pull myself together with that generous amount of pills.. i have had ample of those for awhile..even now i still have it but i do not know if they will ever run out.. i don't even know where they came from but i suspect the kind deeds from the past left me equipped with some. Real colorful ones actually. pretty.

Seriously, me refusing to barge, so stubborn about dis, is it worth it or not? Everyone beg to differ, and if you say it's totally not worth, who are u to judge and why is it so? what will happen if one day i run out of those pills and the day is tomorrow? I dare not think. I will know then, whether its worth or not. Forgoing that stupid pride, I still decided to cry for the last bit of help. HELP!!! help please pretty, help! I dun wanna succumb =( , i tried to grip on why i wanted it in the first place and not get too lost in it.. too caught up with the injuries and anger will only steal our precious dream away. too much pride too. Shed.

I climbed i crawled i fell i swelled. it can go either way. but it has to end one day. soon.. till then..